Just a Few Random Thoughts

There's a lot spinning around in my head tonight....

• This time of year is always crazy for me. It's just what happens when you have two families that live in different states, and you try to give everyone equal holiday time. Plus, I am the ultimate procrastinator. I started my Christmas shopping yesterday. Two presents down, only ten more people to buy for, and nine shopping days left. But it's OK because not only am I the ultimate procrastinator, but I am also the ultimate marathon shopper!
• Last year, I remember dreading the holiday season. It's just too stressful, running around shopping at the last minute, traveling, and trying to make sure you visit all of your family. But I'm actually really looking forward to Christmas this year. I think a huge part of that is due to the fact that for the first time in five years of being a nurse, I don't have to work Christmas Eve or Christmas Day. I got way lucky this year and I'm totally going to enjoy it!
• I miss my mom. I can't remember a time when I've missed my mom and my two little sisters more than I do right now. I haven't seen them at all since last December. And even then, it was only for two days. I just can't wait to give them all big hugs.
• I've been very emotional the past two weeks. I think a big part of that is probably because I'm pretty stressed out right now. This whole house hunting thing, on top of the regular holiday season stress, has made me into a bit of a nutcase recently. I think I've cried three times in the past two weeks.
  
• On top of being stressed out, I am also grieving for a patient of mine who recently passed away. I only knew her for a few weeks, or maybe a month, but she and her husband quickly became very near and dear to me. Although being born with a terminal illness, she had an amazing outlook on life, which made a lasting impression on me. I'm not sure I've ever allowed myself to make such a deep connection with one of my patients, especially with one that has ended up dying, so I've not really been sure how to deal with it. I've just been letting it out little by little so far. It's weird, but even though I've seen plenty of people pass away, I don't have much personal experience dealing with losing someone who I have really cared about.
  
• The house hunting has pretty much come to a bit of a grinding halt because Christmas seems to be approaching at mach speed, and our realtor just has too much on her plate right now (and so do we). But I think at this point, we've pretty much realized that what we want, where we want it, and the amount of money available to us to get it is an equation that just doesn't have an answer. I'm still not feeling very hopeful about the whole situation in general. In short, the initial slap in the face has pretty much become a full body beatdown.
• I do have good news though. I've accepted a day shift contract at Piedmont, that I will start next January. I really hope that this opportunity is exactly what I need to help me have more energy to focus on things like budgeting, house hunting, getting requirements filled to return to school, eating better, exercising, and doing things that really make me happy (like maybe taking a dance class or some music lessons).
• After this Tuesday night (my last night of work on my current contract), I am looking forward to having the next few weeks off, so that I can sit back and relax with my friends and family and really enjoy Christmas this year. Then I'll party down on New Year's, ski my ass off (my skinny jeans are getting quite lonely) in Colorado for a week, and hopefully some of this other stuff I'm worried about will somehow work itself out.