This is Me

Following along in the spirit of this post, among a few others, here's my introduction:

Hello, I'm Bean.

Actually Bean is my nickname. (For some reason, I just don't want to put my real name on the internet, even though I'm sure it is already on other people's blogs, and the only people that read this already know who I am.) Bean comes from a longer name that my dad used to call me when I was little (my real name with bean on the end.)

I am addicted to laughing. I tend to find humor in things that most other people don't. One of my fondest memories from childhood is when my brother and sister used to make me laugh so hard at the dinner table I couldn't hardly even chew.

I would describe my personality as: laidback about some things (like budgeting), really anal about other things (like cleanliness), fun-loving, sensitive, compassionate, kind, having a good sense of humor, intelligent (but ignorant about some things like politics and world news), open-minded, and easy to get along with.

I am the best kind of slacker. I do a good job on the things that are important to me. But I slack whenever I know I can get away with it. I am always on time except for when I know I can get away with being late. I am the ultimate procrastinator. I need a lot of structure and a good plan in order to get things done or learn new things. Otherwise, I will just keep putting it off.

I have always been a loyal and dedicated friend. I think I am a good listener and try to give good advice when asked for it. I am usually pretty good about keeping in touch with old friends but sometimes I get frustrated when I feel like I am the only one always trying. If anyone ever needs help with something, I am always willing to drop what I'm doing to be there for them.

I was born on August 16, 1980 and I am a Leo. Leos are supposed to be "powerful, creative, arrogant, intolerant, warm-hearted, and opinionated." My personality does seem to match many of the Leo traits, with some exceptions. It's true that I do like to be in charge, and I have no problem delegating tasks at work. In fact, I really kind of like telling people what to do. However, I tend to be pretty shy in some situations, so that if there is a stronger personality around, I'll let them do the talking. But if they are doing something that I strongly disagree with, I will surely let them know. I also do enjoy being the center of attention, but I don't necessarily seek it out, and I only enjoy it when it's for something positive. I have always thought that I would do well in the performing arts. Although I do have certain insecurities, I am overall a self-confident person, borderline arrogant at times. I usually try to pretend that I am humble, so that I don't seem arrogant. I also tend to be jealous in relationships. If you so much as look at or talk to my man in a certain way, I will instantly give you the evil eye. But I'll be sweet as sugar to your face.

Besides all that.... things I enjoy include: good food/ eating out, having lazy days by the pool, going out for drinks, listening to music, dancing, having game nights, taking walks with my favie, going to the beach, ski vacations, and daydreaming about all the things that I still want to do with my life.

Getting so Much Better all the Time

Well things are looking up today. I think I have finally just about gotten rid of the plague, so that always helps. Besides that, we've had some really nice weather this weekend, and I even got to hang out at the pool a little bit yesterday. Good weather + pool time + no more plague = one happy (and not so pasty) bean!

After having Saturday and Sunday off, of course I have to work again tonight. I'm hoping that it won't be too busy since it is a holiday. Usually holidays are a little slower, but the day after the holiday is really busy. At this hospital, it doesn't seem to matter what day it is, because it is just always busy! I have definitely been working my ass off at this new place compared to the old hospital, but so far have enjoyed the craziness of it all. More on that later because a pre-work nap is calling my name!

I'm Ready for Next Week

The last week has been kind of crappy. Partly because I've been fighting off the plague. I guess either I finally caught it from Dave, or maybe it was just my turn to be sick. I hardly ever get sick, so when I do it's usually pretty bad. Either way, it's always a good reminder of what my patients must feel like. The worst thing about it is that I don't really get sick days off from work. I can call out sick, but then I don't get paid. Also, if I don't make up hours that I miss when I call out, my housing subsidy gets deducted from. So I've basically just been going to work sick all week and then coming home feeling worse. Needless to say, I haven't had a whole lot of energy to get much of anything done.

Besides being sick, I think night shift in general is really starting to take a toll on me. I constantly feel tired and unmotivated to do much of anything. I'm hoping that once I get over being sick, I can start exercising at least a couple of days a week. Now that I'm not walking everywhere as my mode of transportation, I know I need to make an effort to exercise. Plus, I think that will boost my energy some too. I'm also hoping that I can try to find a day shift contract for my next assignment.

There has also been some drama going on in my family life. I don't think I'll go into the details of it right now, but it has been on my mind quite a bit. So much so that I haven't been sleeping very well or able to concentrate much at work. Things are not so great right now, but I fear that they might get even worse. This situation has been coming for a long time, and I figured it was just a matter of time before things came to a head. Once we get through it, I think things will be a lot better, but right now it's just really hard.

It's back to work again for me tonight and Friday. Hopefully, we can find something fun to do this weekend. At least the weather is supposed to be nice, so maybe I can make my debut of relaxation and tanning at the pool, and try to forget about all the drama.

If Only Our Ceiling Could Be a Little Thicker

Dear Upstairs Neighbors,

I am writing because perhaps you are unaware of how incredibly loud your concrete-filled shoes are as you stomp around upstairs. And I am just wondering: is it really necessary to constantly run back and forth across the floor? Are you training for a marathon? If so, you must be exhausted after training for such long hours everyday, running back and forth into the wee hours of the night, only to wake up at the butt crack of dawn to continue your endless circles around your apartment. Don't you ever sleep? But how do you explain the squealing, the screaming, and the loud talking? Didn't your mother tell you about using an "inside voice"? And by the way, our bedroom is apparently directly under yours. So when your girlfriend is moaning and screaming, "Crazy! Crazy! Crazy!" as she climaxes at 2AM, I'd really appreciate it if you would just stick a sock in her mouth. Thanks for your understanding in this matter.

Sincerely,
I Wish I was Hearing Impaired

I Couldn't Have Put it Better Myself

If you've ever wondered what exactly I do at work, you should read this article.

It is the best written, most accurate description of ICU nursing that I have ever read (minus a lot of the gory details). Some of the quotes that really rang true for me, sending chill bumps throughout my body:

"My war with the clock began the first week." (Anyone who knows me will probably also realize that this quote applies to my everyday life, not just work.)

"...I operated in a state of continuous low-grade panic, punctuated by spikes of abject terror." (This exactly describes how I felt as a new-grad nurse.)

"There could be no skimping, no coasting through a shift because of a headache or trouble at home. For 12 hours, I belonged to people whose survival was at stake."

"That's what nurses do. They deal with the unexpected and set priorities."

"My patients lay clean, well-bandaged, and stable, tucked under smooth white sheets amid the rhythmic click, beep, and whoosh of ICU equipment." (What I strive for by the end of every shift.)



P.S. And just for the record, I have never had to give hourly enemas. If I had a patient with this order, I would adamently refuse. That would be cruel and unusual punishment for both the patient and the nurse. Any doctor that would write that order should be shot!

Working Through the Muck

Anybody ever watch Shear Genius? It's actually pretty funny! I've gotten stuck on a marathon tonight as I've been trying to stay up late so I can sleep during the day. Tonight will be my first night shift at the new hospital I'm working at: High Point Regional Hospital.

Orientation went well last week. It consisted of the usual: a couple of days of sitting in a classroom, bored out of my mind, reading about and taking tests on the policies and procedures of the hospital. And then I had two days of clinical orientation, working on the unit with a preceptor. Well there's only so much you can learn about how a hospital runs in one week. I've pretty much just learned to pick up what I can during the "orientation" week, and then just run with it. By now, I've gone through this enough times that I'm just going to expect to be totally disoriented for the first week on my own, work through the muck, and then finally get a routine down.

I'll admit that I am a little nervous, but I always am at first. At least I feel comforted by the fact that everyone I've met so far has been incredibly nice and helpful, and that alone is one of the most important factors in success at a new place.

Anyway, wish me luck...I'm ready to dive in and get my hands on some fresh patients. Let the healing begin!

Junk in the Trunk, Part Two: Spring is Here!

After everything we went through on the first driving day, the second day was a breeze. We actually got up and on the road by 10AM. (Of course, we were partially motivated by the fact that we had to get to our apartment before the office closed so we could get our keys.) The weather was beautiful, warm, and sunny. And we didn't have any slow fast food service or unexpected traffic. Plus, we only had about six hours of driving instead of eight.

As we drove further and further south, everything kept getting greener and greener. And I started to feel more awake and more alive, the closer we got to home. I don't think I ever realized how much I enjoyed the springtime in the south until it was taken away from me. Over the course of two days, we went from a place where the trees were still completely bare, to a place where there were a million shades of green and flowers blooming everywhere.

When we finally pulled up to our new apartment, I could hardly keep from dancing around in the parking lot, as I felt the warm air envelope me, and I looked around at all the blooming plants and flowers. I was wearing pants and longsleeves, and for the first time in six months, I was actually hot! I don't think I've ever been so excited to put shorts on.... that is, until I saw the ghostly shade of white my legs were. Yeah, I'm gonna have to work on that!

So after we spent six and a half hours packing up the Durango, it took us probably less than an hour to unpack it! We are still working on getting everything put away around the apartment, but most of the work is done now. (Thank God!)

Overall, our new apartment is really nice. It has a ton of windows which let in a lot of light during the daytime. We have a decent size balcony, which will be great for watching the fireflies and listening to the crickets at night. In general, the living room/ dining room/ kitchen area has a very open feel. And the bedroom has a large walk-in closet, with plenty of room for both of our clothes and shoes. We do also have a nice fireplace, which we probably won't ever use while we're here, but it's a nice thought anyway. And last but not least, we have carpet again! (It sounds silly, but it's amazing how much colder, less cozy, dirtier, and dustier a place feels when it has all hardwood floors, like our apartment in Boston did.)

There is just one problem: those damn green couches! Here's the thing with the couches: they are the exact same couches that I had when I did a contract in Denver and that we had in Boston. They are ugly, they are hard as a rock, and only one person can lay down on them at a time. I hate them with a passion! And I really thought that we would get away from them this time, because we thought we were using a different furniture rental company than the one my company uses. Dave thought it was pretty funny when we walked in and saw them, but my good mood instantly turned sour. I don't know what it is with those damn couches but I can't get away from them! Arghh!

At this point, we've pretty much decided that after this summer, we will definitely be ready to resume a state of permanent residence. We're pretty burned out on moving around so much, and we want all of our stuff back! (including our nice, comfy couches) By now, we don't even know what all stuff we have in the storage unit. I swear, it's gonna be like Christmas when we rediscover all of the stuff we have!

For now, we are working on getting settled into Greensboro for the summer. But we are hoping that while we are here, David will be able to find a decent, permanent job in either Atlanta or Athens. So Atlanta/ Athens people: keep your eyes and ears peeled for job opportunities.... we miss you guys and are ready to make our way home!

Junk in the Trunk, Part One: The Longest Day Ever!

Slowly but surely, I'm working on trying to get everyone caught up with our goings-on of the past few weeks. So here is part one of the story of our move back down to the lovely south:

As Dave mentioned, as soon as it was time to move, spring weather had burst forth upon Boston, yet we were stuck inside, cleaning and packing up a million boxes. I'm not going to lie, I was more than a little pissed. But at least we got to have the windows open, infusing a little fresh air into the stuffiness and dust left behind from the winter.

We worked all day Friday and Saturday of that week, preparing for the big move on Sunday. Saturday evening we had done about all we could do, and we went out for our one last night in Boston. We ended up going to the Skywalk Observatory at the top of the Prudential Center, so we could have one last view of the beautiful city lights. Here's a look at Fenway park from above:

After the skywalk, we went to our favorite neighborhood bar, The Hill Tavern, one last time. We were supposed to just have dinner and a few drinks, and then head home early so that we would be ready to leave by 10AM Sunday morning. But in the usual Dave and Bean style, we went out with a hearty "BANG!" Instead, we stayed out till 2AM, drinking more than we should have, but we sure did have a great time, and that's all that matters, right? Here's a picture of our favorite spot, complete with our favorite bartender and friend, a big ass dude who you definitely want on your side:

Sunday morning, April 22, 2007, was a little rough to say the least. I'm pretty sure we didn't even get out of bed until 10AM.... Oooops! And then to top it all off, what we thought was going to be just a couple hours of packing up the Durango we rented and a brisk cleaning of the apartment, turned into six and a half hours of packing hell.

Problem #1: When we first moved to Boston, we got extremely lucky by renting a Dodge mini-van with the all important "Stow-N-Go" seating. In this van, the back seats tuck down under the floor of the van, creating a perfectly flat cargo area for us to pack all of our crap in. However, the car rental place didn't have one of these vans for us to rent, so we ended up with a Dodge Durango, which is still a pretty large vehicle, but the seats do not tuck under the floor, only fold down flat. Therefore, we probably lost half of the packing space we originally had. (Sidenote: We did explore the option of an actual cargo van rental, but we did not find any that would allow a one-way trip.)

Problem #2: It is inevitable that no matter where you live, you will accrue more stuff than when you originally moved in.

Because we knew we had more stuff than would fit in our vehicle, we had already shipped our six biggest boxes with nonbreakable items in them. Apparently that wasn't enough. After cramming every possible inch of space in the Durango with anything that would possibly fit that we couldn't throw away, we ended up with this:

It certainly bears a striking resemblance to this, doesn't it? After all that, we still had to ship four more boxes, and had to throw away quite a bit. Some of the casualities included: both the bathroom and the kitchen trash cans, the dish drainer, numerous cleaning supplies, and David's beloved vacuum cleaner (which I swear was a decrepit old thing from the 80's that never worked right anyways, but David will tell you otherwise... even so, I still felt a little sad to leave it behind).

Finally, at 4:30pm, we said goodbye to our beloved Charles River Park, and headed towards Washington, D.C., where we had to make it that night, because we had already made a hotel reservation there for the evening. The drive started off OK, despite both of us being tired, hungover, and generally frazzled from the trauma of packing the shit out of the Durango and leaving much later than we had hoped.

We made it through the expected New York traffic without too much of a delay, and by the time we were almost through New Jersey, we were hungry and ready for another break. We stopped at one of those easy-access traveler's rest areas that are common in the northeast. They are accessed directly from the highway and have gas plus a variety of fast food, that I'm sure was designed for a quick and easy stop for travelers. Apparently the "quick and easy" part does not apply in New Jersey.

It was about 10:00 at night by that time, and the only thing that was open was the Burger King. Long story short, we spent about 40 minutes there, by the time we hit the bathrooms and finally got our food! We next had to get gas. First of all, we didn't get the memo that it's against the law to pump your own gas in NJ. We had to wait in line at the full service gas station, and by the time it was finally our turn, the guy comes up to us and says, "It's going to be just a few minutes. We are in the middle of a shift change." I swear I saw smoke coming out of Dave's ears, and I was really afraid his head was going to explode! It was at least fifteen minutes later, when we left that damn rest stop, and David proclaimed, "We are never stopping in New Jersey again!"

Little did we know, just around the corner, they were doing a little bit of Sunday night road work... Here's what we saw:

A sea of breaklights, spanning to the horizon. By the time we got through all that traffic, it was probably around midnight, and we still had two more states to drive through!

We ended up at our hotel around 1:30AM, defeated and exhausted beyond belief. We crawled into our bed, and both immediately fell asleep.

And that was only Day One of driving! Day Two to follow tomorrow....

Nostalgia

I don't think it really hit me that we were leaving Boston until my last day of work. And in general, the last day of work is always just weird, because you say goodbye and sometimes you might exchange email addresses with a few people. But all along in the back of your mind you know you'll probably never speak to any of those people ever again. Even so, at the end of my shift, I found myself lingering. I walked around my unit a couple of extra times just to make sure I said goodbye to everybody. Then I walked just a little slower than usual out of the building. And finally, after I exited the building, walking towards my subway stop for the last time, I took one more look at the hospital, just to make sure I remembered what it looked like. I really enjoyed working at the Brigham, and I will always remember it as a shining example of how all hospitals should be.

Throughout the rest of our last week in Boston, I definitely found myself lingering quite a bit. I felt like I wanted to savor every last moment that I could. Things like the Charles River sparkling in the sun, the wind whipping my hair all around, and me not even caring about it, the quaint and narrow streets stretching upward to form Beacon Hill, and even the Whole Foods and CVS that we frequented for groceries... Every time I realized it might be the last moment I would experience these things, I felt a little tug on my heart strings. It was things like riding the subway, watching a group of fat pigeons waddling along the sidelwalk, hearing an authentic Boston accent and giggling to myself about it, walking along the downtown streets, as I watched and looked at all the people and things going on around me, hearing seagulls laughing as they soared through the ocean breeze between the buildings, feeling the coldest of winds creep down my neck, and visiting our favorite neighborhood bar while we laughed with our favorite neighborhood bartender and friend... all of the "last times" I experienced these things made me wish we could've stayed just a little bit longer.

I admit there were plenty of things I complained about while I was there. But then when I realized we were really about to leave for good, I just kept thinking about all the things I loved about being there and that I would sorely miss. I loved Boston and I have so many wonderful memories from our time there. It was an experience of a lifetime that will always have a special place in my heart.